if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize