I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
