Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
