I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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