Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
being pregnant is like rehab
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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