Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
