I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Your penis caused this!
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