well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
