I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
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