Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"

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  (248): i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards" http://tfl.nu/4vzr
  Replies (19) Good night (799) Bad night (1987)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.

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  (203): my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus. http://tfl.nu/bisy
  Replies (9) Good night (839) Bad night (4171)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates

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  (978): If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates http://tfl.nu/qzzm
  Replies (28) Good night (4070) Bad night (753)
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  (808): View more from Hawaii

  I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.

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  (808): I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends. http://tfl.nu/mxrh
  Replies (20) Good night (4736) Bad night (716)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong

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  (240): Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong http://tfl.nu/kgfp
  Replies (19) Good night (3734) Bad night (1735)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally

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  (207): at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally http://tfl.nu/d50n
  Replies (28) Good night (1765) Bad night (4422)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.

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  (412): Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today. http://tfl.nu/4lg3
  Replies (52) Good night (10461) Bad night (1392)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?

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  (720): New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future? http://tfl.nu/5rnd
  Replies (45) Good night (5505) Bad night (1313)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.

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  (304): Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way. http://tfl.nu/jfrt
  Replies (36) Good night (7518) Bad night (1433)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.

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  (613): I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while. http://tfl.nu/jj3x
  Replies (5) Good night (2204) Bad night (867)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same

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  (614): now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same http://tfl.nu/zf1b
  Replies (6) Good night (557) Bad night (1175)
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  (941): View more from Florida

  My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.

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  (941): My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth. http://tfl.nu/e5tu
  Replies (11) Good night (1006) Bad night (829)
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  (925): View more from California

  If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.

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  (925): If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living. http://tfl.nu/hoy7
  Replies (7) Good night (1030) Bad night (709)
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  (949): View more from California

  Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.

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  (949): Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults. http://tfl.nu/b902
  Replies (0) Good night (890) Bad night (421)
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  (347): View more from New York

  All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.

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  (347): All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college. http://tfl.nu/ta27
  Replies (3) Good night (332) Bad night (137)

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