Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.