I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.