I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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