I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize