the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize