the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
