Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
