Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
