Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
