chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Randomize
