Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
was it more than 30 minutes?
then you're in a relationship
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
These 21 People Came Up With Hilarious Excuses For Their Hickies
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?