where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
