She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
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I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.