hotel room ftw
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS