She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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