Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
