He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
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