At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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