DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
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i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
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Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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