WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
