note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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