My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I don't deserve a penis
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
