Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
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