he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
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