I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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