this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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