I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
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once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
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I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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