I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize