coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Randomize