I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
