OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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