you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Randomize
