I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
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