the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
soo... how was my night?
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