My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
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