i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
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