So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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