its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
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