How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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