i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
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