may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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