You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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