Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
