your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
i can't believe i had my finger in that
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
