We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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