We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
