I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
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