You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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