nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Randomize
