Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
