I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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