i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
