I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
