I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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