Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
